; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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