I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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