I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
