okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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