The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
