i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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