and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
