Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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