i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
