I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
