toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
