Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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