remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
