She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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