the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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