i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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