Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
