you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
