somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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