My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
