What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
A+ Viking dick
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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