I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
After last night, I could never be a politician.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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