how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
