At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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