there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
