so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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