dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
