I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
