their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
