my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
