All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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