yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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