i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize