white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
