She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
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It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
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We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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