I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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