a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
