my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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