i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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