Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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