Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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