That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
