She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
How's work?
Spinning.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
