we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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