Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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