Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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