This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
