He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
