So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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