when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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