Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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