How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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