Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
