She said her name was "party"
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
