she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
