I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
