i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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