Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
