Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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