I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
