Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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