How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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