walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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