so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
