if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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