new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
